LiKe My SiTe? HaTe My SiTe?
Feel free to question my sanity and/or toss tomatoes (I prefer chocolate, however) here:
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STUFF OF THE WEEK
Quote of the Week: "I invented the internet"-- Al Gore Poll of the Week: Who's gonna win American Idol?
A. Kelly
B. Tamyra
C. Justin
D.Nikki
E. John (If you picked this one you obviously haven't been watching the show) Joke of the Week: A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?" News of the Week:Roger Freeman, an Encino, Calif., dentist and lecturer on infectious diseases, wants to start an epidemic. Well, not really: his new company is pushing a line of neckties with magnified pictures of diseases from microscope slides. "The gonorrhea tie is the best looking tie in the whole lot," Freeman says, allowing that "The syphilis tie is gorgeous. The plague tie is pretty, [but] it's sold out." In addition, patterns showing tuberculosis, herpes, staphylococcus, AIDS, chlamydia, ebola, influenza and several other pathogens are available. Don't want to wear your favorite disease around your neck? Matching underwear is also available. (Reuters) Tip of the Week: Don't anger a rhino. Link of the Week: Deathclock.com........ see how long you'll live! Commonly Used Phrase of the Week: "Heaven's to Betsy!" Idea of the Week: Women should put a picture of their missing husbands on beer cans. Poetry of the Week: The Purple Cow
By Gelett Burgess
I never saw a Purple Cow;
I never hope to See One;
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I'd rather See than Be One. Dumb Thing a Fortune Teller Might Say of the Week: When you lose, don't lose the lesson. Fact of the Week: Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka. Ironic Statement of the Week: Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sopnges didn't live there. Phobia of the Week: Hippopotomonstrossesquippedaliophobia-Fear of long words (figure that.... "Susie, you have hippopotomonstrossesquippedaliophobia." "Nooooo! NOOOOOOO! AAAAHHH!!!") Thing to be Happy About of the Week: Throwing bouncy balls at your head. Aesop's Fable of the Week: The Fox and the Mask: A Fox had by some means got into the store-room of a theatre.Suddenly he observed a face glaring down on him and began to bevery frightened; but looking more closely he found it was only aMask such as actors use to put over their face. "Ah," said theFox, "you look very fine; it is a pity you have not got anybrains.":Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth. Lily's Comparison of the Week: Paper Towels vs. Napkins: Paper Towels Thing Not to Say to a Cop of the Week: "You idiot! The money is in the glove compartment not the trunk." Philosophy on Life of the Week: Life is tough... get a helmet. Other Things of the Week: The next time you think your life is going badly, remember this: How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard and only two to get soft. You have to share your box with 11 other guys. The only person who ever sat on your face was your mother. So you're not so bad off! |
